Round One: Done.

Dad and Aaron: Matching Doctors at the Hospital

Vivi Getting a Blood Transfusion (EEK!)

Visiting Vivi

Butoh Taking a Nap with Vivi

Hi Everyone,

Here is the latest on Vivi:

While we were all feeling undeniably defeated at the onset of the news of Vivi's relapse, we also knew this was a process we had not only been through before, but one that Vivi had already braved so valiantly. While last year was an exceedingly challenging year, we also walked away with an incredible amount of memorably hilarious moments, unforgettable time together as a family, and 576 more names to add to the Vivi Fan Club. So, with this in mind, very quickly, there was a collective sense of "we can do this."

The feeling only continued upon our first visit back at the hospital. Vivi had barely stepped one foot into the waiting room before she was mobbed by a hoard of people who could not be more thrilled to see her. It was almost humorous to see the conflicted looks on each of their faces as they could barely contain their excitement at the mere sight of my mother, but were also aware of the circumstances under which she was back at the hospital. It was equally entertaining to watch the reactions of the other people in the waiting room who had likely not received the same pompous welcome, and were looking at my mother clearly thinking, "Who the fuck IS this woman?" Certainly a celebrity in these parts.

Vivi was even up to her old antics, behavior at which I have no choice but to shake my head and think - yup, that's my mother! First we went through the old routine of getting her a private room. A process that - although requires hours of waiting and finagling - I am convinced, my mother would be willing to undertake even during her final breaths.

Later that evening, I was fortunate enough to witness another one of my mother's favorite hospital activities: Let's Fuck with the Nurse! The basic rules of this game are an unassuming nurse comes into my mother's room to ask some standard questions and run some basic tests, and about 30 minutes later the nurse leaves bewildered and exhausted, not understanding how a) a 70-year-old woman who just received a hysterectomy could actually be pregnant, and b) how she ended up spilling the entire story of her recent break-up with her boyfriend to a patient when all she was trying to do was get my mother's vital signs. While my initial reaction to this kind of behavior is generally somewhere between humiliation and shame, it is all worth watching my mother amuse herself to the point of laughing until she cries (or pees...it's often a toss-up) - something that is rather contagious if you are around her for such an episode! In the end, I can only think - good for her. If she can find a way to have fun, keep her humor, and lift her own spirits (albeit at the expense of other people's sanity at times) - all the power to you, Mom!

Even sitting here now, in room #1702 - a room we have spent countless hours, days, and nights in over the last year and a half- watching the rain spit onto York Avenue as the rest of the world unknowingly zooms by, and listening to mother's heart monitor machine beep rhythmically in the background - it all feels almost comfortably familiar.

However, despite our acquaintance with this hospital, this disease, and this process, it is, in so many ways, different this time around. You reach out with a bit more hesitation when you already know the hot stove is going to burn you when you touch it. Bottom line: to a certain degree - we just know what we are in for - for better or for worse.

Additionally, this round of treatment seems to be offering a very different set of challenges than we faced last year. While chemo is never easy (to say the very least), Vivi seemed to tolerate her treatment last year better than most. While the physical side effects were certainly tough, and often hard to endure - the most significant of which was that Vivi lost her hair, which is scary and shocking, but not painful, by any means - they certainly did not take the physical toll on her that this treatment seems to be doing.

Vivi is on a new chemo called Gemzar. The side effects of which are as follows:

• Flu-like symptoms (muscle pain, fever, headache, chills, fatigue)
• Fever  (within 6-12 hours of first dose)
• Fatigue
• Nausea
• Vomiting
• Poor appetite
• Low blood counts.  Your white and red blood cells and platelets may temporarily decrease.  This can put you at increased risk for infection, anemia and/or bleeding.

Not only has Vivi been experiencing all of these side effects, but to make matters worse, her low blood counts made her more susceptible to getting sick or developing a infection - which is exactly what happened this last week. Starting last Thursday, Vivi started to develop the flu-like symptoms listed above - and was told by her doctor to head to the emergency room. However, after running some tests, receiving some hydration, as well as some platelets, Vivi was sent home. Unfortunately, Vivi's fever continued to spike, she continued to feel worse, and this routine repeated itself for four more days until she was finally admitted into the hospital Wednesday night.

Long story short - not only had Vivi developed some sort of infection, but her red blood cell count was so low she needed to receive three blood transfusions to get her counts back to a sustainable level. While these types of side effects, as listed above, are expected, due to Vivi's cardiac conditions, these symptoms can be not only dangerous, but actually life threatening. When Vivi's body is under such stress, her heart starts to overwork, and while she doesn't actually develop a heart attack, this type of stress to the heart can be quite damaging - which in turn makes Vivi feel extremely weak and tired (likely an understatement if you were to ask her).

The good news is, after three blood transfusions, some IV antibiotics, and a ton (literally) of IV hydration, Vivi is feeling MUCH better. She even got out of bed, put some make-up on, and joined me for a few laps around the17th floor! She was even back to her feisty self, insisting that I was not offering enough entertaining details on the latest and greatest in my life, as well complaining about how much nicer the rooms on the 18th floor of the hospital (where she had spent the prior night) were, compared to the 17th floor - where she is now staying.

So - what now? Vivi is going to stay in the hospital and be monitored until her blood counts go back up and her EKGs (heart monitoring tests) read normally - at which point they will continue with her next round of chemo (which was originally scheduled for today). Her counts seem to be back to normal, but she is still waiting for the results of her EKG. If that reads normal, she will receive chemo tomorrow and will likely be able to go home either tomorrow or Sunday.

The question that remains is whether this was all due to some fluke infection that Vivi picked up during regular cold and flu season, or whether this was a bad reaction to the Gemzar. According to her doctors, it is likely a combination of the two. So they are going to closely monitor her through this next treatment and if the same symptoms start to arise, they will have to consider cutting back on her dosage of chemotherapy - as the routine she went through this past week is simply unsustainable. To answer a common question that has come up - will the chemo still be as effective if they pull back the dose? The answer is yes. Vivi is getting the maximum dose possible of Gemzar right now, which her oncologist decided to give her considering she tolerated her chemo last year like a bull. So they can still pull the dosage back significantly without changing the effectiveness of the treatment. Which is great news.

So we will see how this next treatment goes and I will send an update after that. In the meantime, please know that, despite a very tough week (likely our toughest yet), Vivi is really feeling so much better and seems to truly be on the mend.

Per usual, I would like to thank everyone for the love, support, thoughts, and prayers that have already poured in (and a special thanks to whoever sent the box of dark chocolate treats - they're my favorite!) - even just a few weeks into this process. I can never truly express how much strength it offers both my mother and our family as we forge ahead back down this road.

Happy Friday and happy Fall to all of you.

Until next time...

I'm 70, I have Cancer, F*ck it!

Hi Everyone,

I wish I could take credit for the title of this post, but as I am sure many of you already guessed, it actually came from - you got it - VIVI!  When my mother asked me to write a blog post updating all of you on the events of the last few weeks, I was apprehensive, as I wasn't sure how to keep the same humorous and positive tone I tried my best to maintain throughout this blog thus far. However, when Vivi texted me saying she had thought of the perfect title for the new blog - the tone was already set. All I could do was shake my head and laugh and think, "that's my mom."

I also wish that I was writing this post to update all of you with better news, but, unfortunately, that is not the case. While I knew I would have to be sending such a post to all of you at some point, I was certainly hoping I would not have to do it so quickly. Unfortunately, just over 6 months after being deemed in "remission" Vivi has relapsed.

The week before Labor Day Vivi had some blood tests come back indicating that her CA-125 levels (the blood marker that measures the growth of ovarian cancer cells in one's body) were elevated. The blood test was then followed by a CT scan which confirmed that the cancer had, in fact, returned. The good news is, since Vivi is monitored so closely now, this was all caught fairly early. While there is already some spreading - with the most significant finding on her left kidney - this is to be expected with ovarian cancer. If you are new to this blog, it may be helpful to go back and read some of the earlier posts which most clearly describe the nature of ovarian cancer. However, in short, what makes ovarian cancer so tricky is that it tends to sprinkle itself around as opposed to showing up as one localized tumor (although larger tumors can occur as well).

When we met with Vivi's doctors, there were two treatment options - surgery or chemo. Vivi was not a candidate for surgery as, stated above, the cancer is too sprinkled for surgery to be effective. Thus, she will be going back into chemotherapy beginning this Wednesday. The new regimen will, once again, be a 21-day cycle. However, this time around, Vivi will have two weeks of treatment in a row (only one day of treatment each week - not the whole week - just to clarify), followed by a week off. The plan is for her to go through 3 rounds of treatment, have a CT scan to track her progress, and then continue with another 1-3 rounds of treatment depending on her progress. Due to Vivi's cardiac complications during her treatment last year, she is going to have to be treated, once again, as an in-patient. While hospital time is never particularly fun, I have no doubt my mother will, once again, establish her little fan club of nurses, patients, and passers-by, who are sure to be regular visitors in her private (yes, private) room!

So here is the reality of the situation. Truthfully, while we all hoped Vivi would stay in remission as long as possible, we also knew that she would relapse at some point. This is just the nature of ovarian cancer. Only 10% of women diagnosed with late-stage ovarian cancer are actually cured. So while Vivi put up an undeniably valiant and brave fight last year, the odds were never in our favor.

Good news - while Vivi will likely be in and out of remission for the foreseeable future, her doctors are nothing but optimistic that this round of chemo should be extremely effective and she will likely be back in remission by winter. Not only was Vivi amazingly responsive to chemotherapy last year, but she withstood the treatment as if she were her horse! So while we are all certainly saddened by the news of the last few weeks, we remain hopeful that Vivi will once again make it through this with flying colors, lots of laughs, a solid amount of inappropriate behavior, and at least one new pair of sparkly diamond earrings!

More good news - if you know our family at all,  we are lucky to have the knowledge and resources which allow us to explore options outside of chemotherapy. While chemo is certainly the best short term solution, it is not a long-term answer. Knowing this, we have spent much of our time over the last few weeks meeting with doctors and exploring every possible treatment available. While Vivi has chosen to stick to the traditional route of chemotherapy, it is good to know we have options - something that many people in our position are not afforded.


Even better news - the last few weeks have not been all work and no play! First and foremost, Vivi turned the big (gasp!) 7-0 yesterday. So my sister flew in for the weekend and we celebrated with a lovely dinner on Saturday night, a brunch yesterday, and lots of birthday cake!! The weekend before, our cousin Kyra got married in Rhode Island, which was another fun (and might I add - stunning) family affair. Now here's the really fun part: we decided we would charter a plane and fly up to Rhode Island as a family and - believe it or not - Vivi flew the plane (proof in the photos below)!!! Of course we had a real pilot and Vivi only flew for a few seconds, but still, it was serendipitous timing for Vivi to not only face, but conquer, one of her greatest fears (Vivi is terrified of flying, if you weren't already aware)!!!! My sister-in-law also faced one of her biggest fears - sitting in a plane that my mother was flying. Nonetheless, it was a well timed adventure, followed by a beautiful night of family fun!

So, while we certainly have another challenging year ahead, our family - in its usual fashion - has already managed to rally together and cherish some extremely special time together - as I expect we will continue to do in the upcoming months.

I apologize that this post lacks my usual humorous tone (or attempt at humor), but I knew this would be a lot of information to ingest, and wanted to focus on the facts. Judging from last year, I already anticipate the amount love and support that will come pouring in after this post is sent - so thank you in advance. All of you were certainly our greatest motivators, supporters, and source of inspiration last year, and I have no doubt this year will be different.

I will, per usual, keep everyone posted on my mother's progress, and have no doubt that I will have many entertaining stories to tell along the way.

All my love. Until next time...

Vivi's Back!

Hi Everyone,

I am, once again, thrilled to have the honor of delivering more good news about Vivi and her extraordinary battle against the Big C. Two weeks ago, Vivi received the results from her final CT scans, and they were completely clean! This means Vivi has been officially deemed IN REMISSION (!!!!!!!!!) - which technically means there is no traceable sign of cancer in her body. This news, while not entirely unexpected considering Vivi's incredible progress over the last 10 months, was certainly met with overwhelming relief and absolute joy.

I can still so clearly remember the day of Vivi's first surgery, sitting with our surgeon in that little holding room at Sloan Kettering, barely able to absorb what Dr. Abu-Rustum was explaining to us. As he sat across that little round table, which was adorned with nothing more than a small box of tissues, Dr. Abu-Rustum soberly delivered news, which he had clearly delivered to countless families before us, that the situation did not look very promising. At that point, the cancer was so far spread throughout Vivi's abdomen, he was not even able to perform surgery, and decided it would be best to try and shrink the tumors with chemo first. With such a prognosis sitting on our shoulders, our family heading down the road of this journey hoping for the best, but certainly preparing for the worst.

However, through each step of this process - nine rounds chemo, two surgeries, two near heart attacks, countless tests, and endless days and weeks in that hospital - Vivi made us all believers in the impossible, as she met each challenge with strength, spirit, and her impervious sense of humor.

While the last year has certainly presented the greatest challenge my family has yet faced, it is my mother who truly endured a test of the body and will that none of us could ever try to understand. It is also she, and she alone, who came out swinging with her 40-carats worth of diamonds, and fought an awe-inspiring battle for her life.

However, as I have said so many times before on this blog - there are countless doctors, nurses, nutritionists, chefs, family members, and friends, without whom my mother, nor our family, could have ever survived this last year. So, I will say it again, as it cannot be said nearly enough times - THANK YOU! Thank you, to all of you, from the very bottom of our hearts, for everything you have offered my mother and our family throughout this entire process. This overwhelming influx of love and support has touched each one of us so deeply, and allowed us all to remain strong and positive when, at times, such a feat seemed impossible.

I would also like to thank everyone for their generous donations to Team Vivi for our ride in Cycle for Survival - an event that raised money for Memorial Sloan Kettering. It was an absolutely moving and inspirational event, and raised money for a cause that is obviously near and dear to all of our hearts now. So thank you for supporting us!

With that said, I am thrilled to tell you that Vivi is getting stronger by the day, and already up to her old tricks. Surprisingly, she is also up to some new tricks, such as working out with a trainer twice a week (news which was almost more shocking than my mother's initial prognosis)! Tricks or not, my mother is certainly on the mend, and might I add, looking fabulous as ever as she sports her new, um, hair! And as the weather begins its slow but sure turn, I know my mother is looking forward to, once again, spending her time enjoying her favorite activities such as riding the trails of North Salem on her horse, and relaxing in the serene surroundings of our house on Lake Mahopac - luxuries that have been taken from her for far too long now.

However, it is certainly a challenge to simply move on with life as usual, as all of our lives have been forever altered by the events of the past year. We certainly remain hopeful that my mother's miraculous recovery will continue, but also remain mindful of the complicated disease she is facing, and the fact that we may not have, in fact, seen the end. However, we also forge forward with a new sense of strength, and, most certainly, a new sense of appreciation for all that life has to offer. After experiencing a year such as the one my family has just endured, all we want to do is spend our time with the people we care about in the most positive way possible.

Hence, our family has started a new tradition called "Monday Night Family Nights" where, together, we embark on a new fun activity each week. It is certainly a much needed shift from the countless Monday nights we have spent together in the hospital over the past year. It is also a welcome change for a family that never even managed to have a real family dinner together over the years! The pictures above are from our first Family Night a few weeks back when we all, including Vivi (as you can see) went bowling. I absolutely love these photographs, as they so perfectly embody Vivi's spirit, our collective feeling of redemption, and our attempt to move forward with life and FUN!

So as our family looks forward to the change of the seasons, and the turning of a new leaf, we hope you do as well.

All our love and gratitude...

Goodbye, Chemo!

Hi Everyone,

I am thrilled to report that today is Vivi's last day of chemo! After today, Vivi will have two weeks to recover from the treatment before she receives her first round of post-treatment scans and tests to ensure that everything is clear. At that point, we are hopeful she will be officially deemed "in remission", and even more hopeful that she will stay in remission for many, many years to come!

While these final rounds of treatment have been nothing short of incredibly challenging, Vivi has done her very best to remain strong and positive. Per usual, she has managed to maintain her infallible sense of humor, sparkle, magnetism, and, well...drama - even as she is hooked up to numerous machines. These Vivisms, along with her will and strength, which rival that of a bull, have, without a doubt, been the driving force behind my mother's rather miraculous recovery. After 9 rounds of chemotherapy, 2 surgeries, 2 near heart attacks, and countless tests and scans, Vivi is walking out of the other end of the "Big C" almost exactly as she walked into it (minus a bit of hair, but plus an unimaginable amount of head coverings).

These qualities have also, quite literally, made Vivi a star here at the hospital, which is simply not surprising. These last rounds of treatment have required a lot of hospital time, which is never easy. However, for Vivi, it has certainly not been boring either. Once word has spread that Vivi has checked into her room (private, of course!), a slew of nurses, doctors, technicians, and patients start pouring in for visits - not unlike the hordes of people who gather in Rome to greet the Pope. Just so you know, I am not even referring the to people who are actually here to treat her - who often have to push their way through the crowds that have gathered around my mother's hospital bed. Her visitors are various people she has come across through her time here at Sloan. In her Vivi-way, my mother has made each of these people feel as if she were their new best friend - or therapist in many cases. Only my mother can get someone to tell their entire life story while they are performing an EKG on her - after which, she will manage to get their phone number, home address, and email, and stay in touch with them on a rather regular basis (hence, how the word spreads so quickly upon my mother's arrival at the hospital). But such is the way of Vivi. She thrives and survives on connecting with other people, and feels special by making them feel special. And while I poke fun, and often role my eyes from my regular chair in the corner of her hospital room, it is through this truly special network of amazing people that my mother has found so much of her strength - and for that, I am eternally grateful. So, to everyone from Memorial Sloan Kettering who is on this list - thank you for the care you have offered Vivi, the support you have offered our family, and the friendship which, I am sure, will sustain my mother in her continued recovery.

So what now? Well, once it is determined that Vivi is officially in remission (meaning, there is no traceable cancer in her body), she will receive one last procedure to remove her chemo port. After that, she will be closely monitored, and will receive scans and blood tests every three to four months. We are hoping this will be coupled with her new diet and exercise regimen - right, mom?!?!?

While we are extremely hopeful about Vivi's prognosis (something we were not able to say just a few months ago), we also must remain realistic in our expectations about what lies ahead for Vivi. Ovarian cancer is just an extremely tricky and unpredictable cancer, which has an unfortunately high recurrence rate. However, Vivi has beat the odds (more like, kicked the living shit out of the odds) through every single step of this process, and I have no doubt she will continue to beat this disease with the same continued fervor and flair.

While I have said this in every post on this blog, I will continue to say it - we could not have gotten through ANY of this without the undying love, support, and prayers from all of you - our dear friends, family, and all the wonderful people on "Team Vivi" (Stefanie, Nathalie, Marti, Marcus, and more). While this has certainly been the most significant challenge our family has faced yet, it has also been a surprisingly positive experience on so many levels as well. Never in my life have I seen such true good, grace, and kindness from the people around me, and never before have I appreciated all the blessings in my life as I do now. I think you would be hard-pressed to find anyone in my family, especially my mother, who would feel differently.

As to be expected, my updates will be less frequent from here on out. However, I will try to let you know how Vivi is doing at least once in a while. Hopefully, you will periodically hear from Vivi, herself - that is, if she isn't too busy out riding her horse, or designing the latest and greatest in beaded and diamond jewelry!

So onto "normal" life we go. Hopefully, the only thing left for us to weather this winter is the snow. Thank you all, again, from the bottom of our hearts, for all you have done for my mother, for our family, and for being a part of this challenging journey.

As the last few drops of chemo make their way in, I am going to sign out. And with that, we are, officially...DONE!